Pirates Making Jokes

#36

2006-08-29T23:53:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite classic Nickelodeon show featuring kids telling ghost stories around a campfire?

ARRRe You Afraid of the DARRRk?.

#35

2006-08-28T23:52:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite nickname for William Shakespeare?

The BARRRd of Avon.

2006-08-22T14:36:00.000-04:00

PIRATES MAKING JOKES is taking a short break. New jokes will return on Monday, August 28th.

#34

2006-08-18T02:08:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 18th (at 2:04 AM).

Pirates tend to do good for others in hopes that this good will return to them because of their belief in what?

KARRRma.

#33

2006-08-16T23:59:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 17th (at 12:08 AM).

What were the pirates who came from the North down to the South during the Reconstruction after the U.S. Civil War called?

CARRRpetbaggers.

#32

2006-08-15T23:59:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 17th (at 12:08 AM).

During the Punic Wars, who were pirates rooting for?

The CARRRthaginians.

#31

2006-08-14T23:59:00.000-04:00

Who was a pirate's favorite passenger on the HMS Beagle?

Charles DARRRwin.

#30

2006-08-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

What condiment do pirates enjoy with their fish and chips?

TARRRtARRR sauce.

#29

2006-08-09T23:52:00.000-04:00

Why do pirates avoid using currency?

Because they prefer the bARRRter system.

#28

2006-08-08T23:52:00.000-04:00

In order to represent his party in the general election, what must a pirate first win?

A primARRRy election.

Congrats to all the Lamonties out there; you and your guy pulled it off.

#27

2006-08-07T22:42:00.000-04:00

With what were the German pirates disappointed after World War I?

The ARRRmistice.

Contributed by Pirate Kent, arrr.

#26

2006-08-03T11:59:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 4th (at 1:45 AM).

How do pirates celebrate a birthday?

By having a pARRRty. With mARRRtinis. And making fun of people who don't wash their hands, apparently.

Happy birthday mom!

#25

2006-08-03T11:58:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 4th (at 1:45 AM).

When two pirates have a dispute, through what means is it resolved?

ARRRbitration.

Today's joke inspired by Pirate Vince, arrr.

#24

2006-08-02T00:33:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Shakespearean lost play of dubious authorship?

CARRRdenio.

#23

2006-08-01T00:30:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 2nd.

What's a pirate's favorite brand of toilet paper?

ChARRRmin.

#22

2006-07-31T00:24:00.000-04:00

Backdated; actually added on August 2nd.

Why did the pirate have difficulty becoming an attorney?

He couldn't pass the BARRR.

#21

2006-07-27T23:20:00.000-04:00

What do you call a pirate who works at Starbucks?

A bARRRista.

#20

2006-07-26T23:09:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite vaguely-Christian fantasy world?

NARRRnia.

#19

2006-07-25T15:28:00.000-04:00

When a pirate is out of gift ideas, he goes to what store to buy useless crap nobody uses?

The ShARRRper Image.

#18

2006-07-25T15:24:00.000-04:00

Which of the Brontë sisters is a pirate's favorite?

ChARRRlotte. (Pirates think Wuthering Heights is an overwritten, convoluted mess. Plus, they think Heathcliff is a bastARRRd.)

#17

2006-07-25T15:23:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Dublin-related breakfast cereal?

Lucky ChARRRms.

#16

2006-07-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

What Athenian monument do pirates regard as the greatest architectural achievement of antiquity?

The PARRRthenon.

#15

2006-07-24T18:09:00.000-04:00

If a pirate were to join the U.S. military, which branch would he join?

The Coast GuARRRd, of course. (They're pirates -- why would they join the ARRRmy when there's a nautical job available?)

Best of luck in the ARRRmy, Andrew.

#14

2006-07-23T11:32:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Parisian existentialist thinker?

Jean-Paul SARRRtre.

#13

2006-07-23T11:31:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite indie rock band?

The ARRRcade Fire.

#12

2006-07-22T23:06:00.000-04:00

When two pirates have a relationship based on love, respect, admiration, and understanding, in what might it end?

In mARRRiage.

Congratulations, Sarah and Thomas! I wish you guys all the love and joy in the world.

#11

2006-07-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

What does a pirate exclaim during moments of frustration when attempting to eschew vulgar language?

"DARRRn!"

#10

2006-07-20T22:13:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Windows-based file-compression program?

WinRARRR.

#9

2006-07-20T22:10:00.000-04:00

Why does a pirate like Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service so much?

Because of Ben GibbARRRd.

Hi Raven!

#8

2006-07-19T17:25:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Toyota subcompact car?

The YARRRis.

#7

2006-07-19T17:19:00.000-04:00

Why did the pirate choose to register as an independent voter?

Because he doesn't like pARRRtisan politics.

#6

2006-07-19T17:18:00.000-04:00

The kissing of what object is a pirate's favorite part of Irish folklore?

The BlARRRney Stone.

#5

2006-07-19T17:07:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite Middle Eastern, democratically-elected president?

Hamid KARRRzai.

#4

2006-07-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

The antics of what Riverdale teenager make pirates laugh?

ARRRchie Andrews.

#3

2006-07-19T16:53:00.000-04:00

Critical to certain radiometric dating techniques, what's a pirate's favorite naturally-occuring isotope?

CARRRbon-14.

#2

2006-07-18T01:13:00.000-04:00

What's an environmentalist pirate's favorite holiday?

ARRRbor Day.

#1

2006-07-17T00:10:00.000-04:00

What's a pirate's favorite fire-related crime?

ARRRson.